There’s no such thing as the ‘wrong’ side of 40—in fact, for many women, turning 40 is often the start of a whole new adventure.
After years of building careers, raising families and juggling finances, our 40s can signify a more liberating stage of our lives. Established jobs generally mean finances are more settled, and with children becoming more independent, there’s suddenly more freedom to enjoy!
The stereotypical images of middle age couldn’t be further from reality, and as a society we’re becoming—or certainly acting and feeling—old much later. Our 40s are the perfect time to realize long-held ambitions, whether that’s traveling, changing career paths, embarking on studies or even learning a whole new language or skill.
Focus on you
We’re brought up to believe that being selfish is a bad thing. As a result, we prioritize everyone else’s problems only to find that we’ve put our own wants, needs and desires on hold.
An effective way to readdress the balance is to introduce mindfulness into your daily routine. Just a few minutes a day can make a huge difference to how you approach—and deal with—your day-to-day life, as mindfulness and meditation teacher Karen Liebenguth explains:
“Modern life is fast-paced, complex and demanding, particularly for women who want to have a career, raise a family and—crucially for the over 40s—make time for their own personal development. A mindful practice helps us to have moment-to-moment awareness of our experience: of our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations.
Becoming more aware allows us to see our habitual ways of thinking and behaving—like running from one activity to the next. For instance, women typically will think ‘It’s selfish to focus on myself, it’s self-indulgent to meet my own needs. I should care for others.’ When we’re aware of such unhelpful thoughts, we can see that they aren’t true and change them into, for example, ‘It’s important to focus on myself as well as on others. It’s being self-responsible and self-caring when I look after my own needs for rest, sleep, social time, leisure, my interests, my passions etc…”
Relationship goals
Our 40s are a prime time for reassessing relationships. Some couples are eager to explore this new phase of life together, while others realize that it’s time to go their separate ways. This is common for couples who met in their early 20s and who have subsequently found that they’ve developed different interests and drifted apart. The dynamic of a relationship can also be affected when children are no longer the main focus of the family unit.
Relationship expert Sarah Louise Ryan describes how life experience can bring a new depth to the dating scene:
“My advice to any woman looking to find love at this stage in their life is to be authentic. Share learnings and experience you’ve accrued along the way in your 20s and 30s and remember that any single person at this age and beyond also has a story to tell—there are no completely clean slates. Bring the best, most confident and most open-minded version of yourself to every dating profile, every swipe and every online or offline conversation and you’ll find very quickly who’s not quite right and who might be the right life-partner for you. I would wish you luck, but I don’t think you’ll need it.”
Career opportunities
With the best will in the world, it’s incredibly difficult to give 100% to a career while raising a young family. As a result, women can find that their career can take a slight sidestep during this time.
Our 40s are the perfect time to explore new career opportunities, retrain in a completely new field or brush up on existing skills. Again, the confidence that comes hand in hand with maturity gives women an advantage, as public-speaking coach Shola Kaye has witnessed:
“As a public-speaking coach and speaker, I network at a variety of different organizations and frequently see older women in attendance. These women have often already had a successful career and are now turning their hand to entrepreneurship.
Many of these women have no plans to stop working, but want to continue making a contribution in a way that’s more satisfying for them. In entrepreneurship roles they’re able to enjoy the excitement of setting their own course alongside the satisfaction of being able to call upon their vast experience, both from the workplace and from life, to help them serve their clients. Their experience leaves them unafraid to call out problems and queries and to advise clients in a frank way, which, of course, is refreshing for many!”
Health matters
Turning 40 is all about being at a stage in life where you can make informed choices about your health, whether that’s enhancing decisions you’ve already made or making new ones.
However, to make these choices it’s important to be in good shape, both physically and mentally. Productivity coach Abigail Ireland stresses the need to keep your body and mind in tip-top condition:
“Being physically active gives you the freedom to remain independent in later life. Research shows that thousands of people aged 65 and older die each year from fall-related injuries, with 20%–30% suffering from major issues such as hip fractures and head trauma that result in reduced mobility and independence.
If you improve your balance, bone density and cardiovascular health, you’re essentially protecting yourself against dangerous falls, broken bones and ailments such as heart disease and osteoporosis. And as a bonus, you’ll notice a welcome change in your physical appearance and energy levels.
Making smart food choices is vital if you want to boost your performance, mood and overall wellbeing. Studies are increasingly proving that a two-way connection exists between the gut and the brain, which makes sense given that around 90% of the body’s serotonin is produced in the digestive tract.
So, is it worth making more effort with fitness and nutrition? Definitely. Take control and achieve your goals with your body and mind to support you.”
Time for adventure
One great way to make the most of the additional freedom, confidence and financial security of our 40s is to travel. You may want to head off on a solo trip of a lifetime, arrange a large group holiday with family and friends, or finally jet off on that long overdue exotic honeymoon. But no matter what you choose, there’s a whole world of adventure out there, as travel consultant Britt-Marie Monks explains:
“Any inhibitions and lack of confidence that may have held you back in your younger days are gone and it’s the perfect time to try new things. The choice is limitless—adventure holidays, active holidays, something sporty (sailing, cycling, walking, scuba diving, skiing), learning a new skill, volunteering for a charity overseas, a spa holiday or joining an educational trip. Alternatively, opting to go somewhere new and staying in a lovely hotel or villa with a group of friends is equally rewarding and enjoyable. Grab life with both hands and get out there!”
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